When I work with a family, I have a few goals — and more sleep is only the first one.

The second is predictability. We all brace for the newborn chaos, but at some point the lack of consistency starts to take a toll. When you have no idea what the night is going to look like — two wakings or six, who knows! — you end up going to bed at 8:30 just in case. Your off-duty time disappears, so you can't recharge your own battery. Getting to the point where you can put your child down and actually count on a few hours to yourself is a bigger deal than it sounds.

The third goal is a plan that actually feels doable. Not perfect (kids are kids, not robots!) but realistic enough that when something throws you off, you can troubleshoot it and keep going. Because a plan that looks great on paper and falls apart the first time the dog barks at naptime isn't actually a plan.

Before we start, I want to know the details that don't make it into the sleep books — your schedule, your home, your specific situation, the things that have already gotten in the way. The goal is less friction, not more.